HOW TO CHANGE THE WORLD
Find meaning in the every day things you do and see the bigger picture - meaning comes from affecting others. This is what writer John-Paul Flintoff says. We need others in order to be unique and therefore others are paramount to what we feel we can contribute or amount to.
"She (my mum) gave me love and confidence and above all, she was very clear, that nothing would mean anything if I didn't live a life of use to others"
How to Change the World by John-Paul Flintoff reveals to the reader how the small things in life can change the world.
Flintoff wrote this book in collaboration with The School of Life, an organisation based in London.
Pain, loss and all bad things in life are inevitable but Buddhists call these moments Heavenly Messages because they spur us to seek awakening. And that if we do not truly accept that there is a problem, we might lack the determination to fix it. Flintoff says that authentic existence is accepting our inevitable death and cosmic significance - and deciding to live purposefully all the same. The only thing we can do is have faith, hope and believe that there is more. This can come in many forms: love, travel, football, art, religion, education....anything we think will lead to something else. The moment we stop seeing ahead is the moment we plunge into the depressing notion of our insignificant existence. Nietzsche says 'He who has a "why" to live can bear almost any "how"'.
In Richard Yate's novel, Revolutionary Road, hope is pivotal to married couple April and Frank's relationship and personal happiness. At the beginning of the novel their marriage is falling apart, however it is repaired for a short time when they start planning a move away to Paris, like they had always dreamed. They aren't even there but the anticipation is enough to make them happier than they have been in a long time. They look forward to something else, they don't know exactly what, but the are curious and hopeful and this makes them happy. They share their plans with their friends who are not exactly supportive but they spend time speaking to a man from a mental health clinic who understands them completely: "April - He seems to be the first person who gets what we are talking about. Maybe we are as crazy as he is. Frank - If being crazy means living life as if it matters, then I don't mind being completely insane".
Their plans go down the pan as Frank decides he wants to stay, optimistic they can make it work where they are with a new baby on the way and his new promotion.
"I just wanted us to live again. For years I thought we've shared this secret that we would be wonderful in the world. I don't know exactly how, but just the possibility kept me hoping. How pathetic is that? So stupid. To put all your hopes in a promise that was never made. Frank knows what he wants, he found his place, he's just fine. Married, two kids, it should be enough. It is for hi. And he' right; we were never special or destined for anything at all (April Wheeler)".
Even if they had successfully moved away to Paris and fulfilled their dream, no doubt it would have not solved their problems. The anticipation and planning may have made them happier than actually being there.
Flintoff says that "the search for meaning always comes before the pursuit of happiness", that once we have a reason, we become happy automatically. He also says that "changing the world [or doing meaningful things], in other words feels good, better than pursuing narrowly selfish interests. He also says that we only truly understand the choices we have and the ways in which we can lead our lives when we actively seek to make change. "To change the world is to have a sense of purpose".
Further he explains that the answer to the meaning of life is not important. What is important and what matters is the answer to what you can do to make your life meaningful. Whether it be contributing to a local football club, art centre, volunteering, donating money, helping others etc. But whatever it is, it must involve others: "Every attitude we assume, every word we utter, and every act we undertake establishes us in relation to others. We may be alone in the realms of our private thoughts, perceptions and feelings, but the world we want to change consists of other people" (p33).
Big ideas can always be whittled down to something more manageable, for example, if you feel strongly about poverty then assess how you can affect it in the smallest possible way from home and then snowball from there. Flintoff says that the thing that makes a difference is people deciding to comply - a law only has an effect if people obey. People must believe that they are just as capable of change as a person in power: "Unless we feel that we can do something ourselves, we have no hope says the writer and activist Rebecca Solnit. 'Hope is not like a lottery ticket you can sit on the sofa and clutch, feeling lucky. Hope is an axe you break down doors with. Hope calls for action".
There is only one way to get anybody to do something and that is by making them want to do it, even if this means changing their minds. If you wish to make a change then spreading the word can greatly help and as Flintoff points out, the best way to get someone on your side is to make conversation about things in which you are agreement, and try to sincerely understand them and their point of view. This applies in any situation you wish to connect with another person and is how the Greek philosopher Socrates worked, by asking question he knew the answer to would be positive. Such open conversations can convince people of hope rather than despair: "...lecturing people about, for example, environmental collapse without at the same time giving them a sense of agency could make them depressed and even ill because, as Frankl saw, people need a sense of purpose if they are to cope with adversity. Research suggests this partly explains high sickness levels among the long-term unemployed".
Flintoff also reminds us that our shortcomings usually generate our strengths, for example many of the peacemakers working for the charity Peace Direct are former child soldiers made to do many shameful things. Ordinarily their background would be seen as a shortcoming, but in this circumstance it makes them well-qualified to help others, "in other words, what we often need is often exactly what we already have" and we should stop looking afar for answers and use what we have already to create from.
Being different: As human beings we learn how to behave by watching others, and yet every single breakthrough occurred because someone did something different and new. Try not to worry about others: "Martin (Luther King) was not a leader. He was a spokesman, a very competent, eloquent spokesman. He was a great man. But if people think of him as superhuman or a saint, then when something needs to be changed they are tempted to say, 'I wish we had a leader like Martin Luther King today.' People need to know that it was just people like themselves who thought up the strategies and managed the movement. Charismatic leadership has not freed us and it never will, because freedom is, by definition, people realising they are their own leaders". No one ever made a great change by following the norm, they did it by suggesting something different, "Can't get to courage without vulnerability"(Dr Brene Brown). Veronica Roth's novel Divergent is about a dystopia future in Chicago where all individuals are expected to choose a fraction that will define them for the rest of their lives. The different fractions consist of people who do a certain kind of work and each fraction defines you either as brave, smart, kind, selfless or honest. The protagonist of the story asks a member of the brave fraction why he has all five fractions tattooed on his back. He replies that he doesn't want to be just one thing, that he wants to be brave and smart, and honest, and selfless, and kind.
Flintoff says there are two ways to change the world, through decreasing suffering or increasing pleasure. He insists that the arts are a valuable tool in creating and giving purpose in life:"...Works of art are ways of building a meaningful community, tools of communication - and thus not unconnected to the more overtly 'serious' mission of peacekeepers and global diplomats. History shows that as soon as people's most basic needs are taken care of, the aesthetic impulse kicks in. We want to write stories, sing of our pain (or make people laugh), and create works of harmonious and delicate craftsmanship. These needs are of the heart of what we are, and should never be sacrificed to a misplaced notion of seriousness."
Flintoff talks about the importance of communication and connection between people. He says that sometimes in difficult circumstances money is not always the answer, love is: "No-one needs this more than children, whatever their background. It's in the care of children that we see the limitations of purely cash based assistance". Caring and loving children teaches them to grow up to care and love also. Simply by affecting future generations we can affect the future. Kid's Company believes in this and works with children and something called the Attachment Theory, which essentially holds that children develop as a direct result of how their first carers engage with them. A study by the University of Minnesota showed that 61% of mothers who had been sexually abused as children went on to neglect their own children. Many of the children Kid's Company works with have come from troubled backgrounds and have lost the ability to emphasize. "If troubled children are to care for others, they first need to hear someone apologise to them for everything they've been through. Kid's Company do that." Many of the kids reject the attachment and do not want it to develop thinking it makes them weak and soft, but most are turned around.
Flintoff says that "compassion does not mean 'to feel sorry for somebody'. It means to endure something with another person, to put ourselves in somebody else's shoes, to feel his or her pain as though it were our own, and enter generously into his or her point of view. Every faith insists on compassion as the true test of spirituality...". To identify with others and respect their points of view can provide you with the power to create change through understanding yourself, the choices you make and the choices you can still make, and the ability to reach out and help change other people's choices in life.
"Courage is to share all of your self, share your whole story so an act of courage is an act of storytelling" - Dr Brene Brown
Flintiff concludes his book by reminding us that their is no rush and ultimately changing the world comes from changing small or large things in the way you live, "Not every end is a goal. The end of a melody is not a goal" (Nietzsche). Make changing the world part of your daily routine and by doing so you will find happiness in fulfilment of making a change and having a purpose. Small actions are important as is making sure you enjoy and are genuinely interested in whatever it is you do to create that change.
.JPG)
