Unconditional - Creating Site Specific Theatre

UNCONDITIONAL

Creating a Piece of Site Specific Theatre

“If you want to sleep with me, I don’t mind. I’ve never slept with anybody, and I’m very fond of you, so if you want to make love to me, I don’t mind at all. But marrying me is a whole different matter. If you marry me, you take on all my troubles, and they’re a lot worse than you can imagine” (Haruki Murakami p157).

I was set the task of creating a piece of site specific theatre. I first chose my space: a night club bathroom. I researched and observed the bathroom both when the club was closed and also early in the morning when it was open. I left one morning with an emotional inclination to message my family and friends to tell them how much I loved them because of the stories I had heard in that toilet. And that led me to devise Unconditional...

My First Trip to the Bathroom...

Queen Margaret University Ladies Toilets - 3rd Floor, East End.

•Asking what happens behind closed doors in a public toilet.

•Acknowledging bodily functions and questioning why we don’t talk about them.

•somewhere safe.

Being in a bathroom forces you to acknowledge yourself emotionally and physically. Escaping to the toilets for a breather, a thought or a cry may allow you escape from the outside world.

Kristeva

•Lacan’s symbolic order Vs. Semiotic order.

•Language as a barrier.

•Alienation of the body. Representation of the body as an abstract and thought of as something to undermine as seen in fashion and celebrity magazines.

•There are certain kinds of art that liberate our insides e.g. Kill Bill, and In My Skin.

 In My Skin

Kill Bill Volume One

Abjection: Acknowledgement of the things we are in denial of.

“Does nature not conceal most things from him – even concerning his own body – in order to confine and lock himself within a proud, deceptive consciousness, aloof from the coils of the bowels...She throws away the key. And woe to that fatal curiosity which might one day have the power to peer out and down through the crack into the chamber of consciousness” (Nietzsche, )

My Second Trip to the Bathroom...

Mood Nightclub, Edinburgh - The Rear Ladies Toilets. 16 December 2009, 9.30 pm

I started by spending some time in the ladies before the club opened taking photos and looking around. 

Bourgeoisie:

•The neglected toilets are un-welcoming however this is always irrelevant when you have nowhere else to go.
Alcohol:

•A substance which evokes honesty, connections with people, story telling, heightened emotion.

Nights Out:

•Which include alcohol, sex, drugs, desecrating, urinating, masturbating, vomiting, bleeding, crying...

Appearance:

•Dressing up in order to attract the opposite sex. Using the toilets to maintain the image you had created for yourself before you came out.

Emotion:

•The space is like a black hole because most of the dramas and emotion that have taken place there are forgotten.

Day Dreaming, Solitude and Past Memories

My trip on the bus...

Number 30 Bus from Musselburgh to Princes Street, Edinburgh. 8 December 2009, 3.30 pm.

The Bus is a lot like the toilet cubicle as a place for solitude:

•You can be surrounded by people but completely immersed in yourself and your own thoughts. It’s like an in between stages place to be. There is no pressure to actively do anything (including thinking).

My Third Trip to the Bathroom...

Mood Nightclub, Edinburgh, Rear Ladies Toilets. 2.30 am, 3 January 2010. 

I went back for the second time to the toilets at 2 am to take notes. What ended up happening is that the girls using the toilets started asking me what I was doing and then continued to chat to me and talk at me about their lives and things that were bothering them.

HAYLEY:

-Goes to the toilet leaving the door open and she talk to me.

She talks about her children and tells me that her first child died.

-She has a Winnie the Pooh tattoo on her back as a tribute to her dead child..

SARAH:

 - She tries to convince me that she is a “good girl” corrupted by Edinburghs’ “bright lights”.

FIONA, JESS, LOUISE AND AMY

- Fiona, Jess, and Louise complain that they are being judged by other girls in the club because they look out of place.

-Amy introduces herself to myself, Fiona, Jess and Louise and tells us that she is gay. She also tells us that she is uncomfortable being in a straight club. After she leaves, I point out that she did not judge them. They reply: “That’s because she does not fit in either”.

LISA:

- Your friends are everything.

- Her journey from nothing to success.

Making a living by doing what she enjoys.

However success and money are not everything. I ask her if she is happy and she tells me 'Honestly, no. I want children'.

“You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn’t really your home any more? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone...You wont ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start...” (Andrew, Garden State)

Jacques Lacan and Freud

These two theorists say that we are “in search of something we feel ourselves to be lacking (a sense of self loss), but it will never exist and never did” (Cramer) and that we search for it in a partner, connecting with them through sex: “ When in love, the sight of the beloved has completeness which no words and no embrace can match: a completeness which only the act of making love can temporarily accommodate…” (Berger, 8) and connecting with them by telling them everything about yourself – story telling: “Identity emerges in the failure of the body to express fully and the failure of the signifier to convey meaning exactly. Identity is perceptable only through a relation to another...there is always loss, the loss of not being the other and yet remaining dependent on that other for self – seeing, self – being” (Phelam, 13).

There are many different kinds of love. The kind I am most interested in and most familiar with is the love I have with my family and friends. The love I have for them is unconditional, vows made without acknowledgement. Unconditional love can be a rock from which to sore from in your own personal pursuit of happiness.

James Blunt - Cry

 Choosing Music

“This song reminds me I have people that will be there for me and vice versa...It’s ultimately about friendship especially very close ones...”(lil89).

I looked for music that talked about unconditional love and found it in James Blunts 'Cry'.

                                                         

I have seen peace. I have seen pain,

Resting on the shoulders of your name.

Do you see the truth through all their lies?

Do you see the world through troubled eyes?

And if you want to talk about it any more,

Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,

I'm a friend.

Emotional traumas and constraints of society Vs Expression and a bond between two people

I have seen birth. I have seen death.

Lived to see a lover's final breath.

Do you see my guilt? Should I feel a fright?

Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?

And if you want to talk about it once again,

On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder.

You're a friend.

You and I have lived through many things.

I'll hold on to your heart.

I wouldn't cry for anything,

But don't go tearing your life apart.

An eternal Bond

Non existent vows that exist between friends and family in contrast with making wedding vows of ‘forever and ever’. The fact we even make wedding vows says everything about it.

I have seen fear. I have seen faith.

Seen the look of anger on your face.

And if you want to talk about what will be,

Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,

I'm a friend.

And if you want to talk about it any more,

Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,

Once again.

Cry on my shoulder,

I'm a friend.

Fear > Faith > Anger 

“...talking about what unites us, not what divides us. We all crave love, comfort and security, especially in those times they seem hardest to find” (Blunt). 

text and space

Creating a Piece of Theatre 

  I turned the stories and people I met in 'Mood' Toilets into characters and a script for my site specific piece of theatre called Unconditional.

Intentions

•To create a desire to text your loved ones when you leave the performance.

•To feel grateful for the friends and family that you have.

•To remember that “ Life is for Living” (Coward, 1994).

Why Here, Why Now?

•To remind people about what is real in relation to the sometimes pretentious Edinburgh scene.

•Contrasting George Street clubs with Mood in this way:

Note: Mood has a reputation for being ‘common’ People love it because of this, because they feel like they can relax.

UNCONDITIONAL

Cry is playing in the club. It feels like a Saturday night out. The audience is offered a drink to take into the performance which is in the toilets of Mood night club, Edinburgh. They take a seat in the right hand side cubicles and the door is closed. The bottom three cubicles are not used – these are performing areas. The toilet is a mess and there is graffiti inside the cubicles as well as a small mirror which hangs on the door at sitting down eye level. You can see the club lights through the see through glass in the toilet. There are lots of different home videos being projected all over the surface area of the toilets. It is a montage of happy memories which belong to the characters. The song is being constantly replayed.

The main entrance door is opened and the music intensifies. The volume is increased until it no longer sounds like music. A ticking sound begins to play. An abrupt scene plays out in the main area of the toilets as three actors stumble in and burst open the cubicle doors. They apologise each time they open a door seeing that it is occupied, and go in search of a vacant one. At the same time we begin to hear two people having sex in a cubicle. Once all the doors are opened the three drunken characters leave and the music returns to normal volume.

SARAH

Sarah’s “Bad Memory” footage is projected all over the toilet. The footage consists of Sarah’s experience leaving home and going to university which happened whilst her parents were breaking up. We see fights between her parents; and fights between her and her parents. We see her rebellion develop in the form of bad habits picked up in the night life in Edinburgh – drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, and bulimia. We see her loss of childhood.

The sex noises the audience can hear are of Sarah having sex in one of the cubicles with a man. Once he has finished we hear him zip up and unlock the cubicle door before we see him. He appears in a giant heart shaped suit. He checks himself out in the mirrors before opening the main entrance and leaving. We hear Sarah phone her mother from the cubicle toilet (the audience eavesdrops in on her conversation). She leaves a voicemail. She is homesick and tells her mother she is planning to get a bus back home tomorrow. She moves into the front area of the toilets and her “Good Memory” footage is played. Her ‘Good Memory’ footage shows her country-esque lifestyle growing up. Her days in school with her friends and summer holidays spent with the family. We see how her friends support her now. We see the strong bond she has with her siblings and the loving relationship she has with her parents. After a short while Sarahs’s phone rings and it is her mother calling her back. She is excited about seeing Sarah again. As Sarah leaves, she puts a condom in the bin.

HAYLEY
Hayley comes out of one of the cubicles haven just defecated in the toilet, pulling up her tights.  It smells of excrement. Her “Bad Memory” footage is projected. We see the time in her life when her first child died at 4 years old. At the same time her partner left her. Hayley approaches the mirrors and slowly starts to undress until she is naked. At the same time the music is fast forwarded. On Hayley’s naked back we can see a Winnie the Pooh Bear tattoo where Winnie is holding a love heart. Hayley’s “Good Memory” footage is played - The birth of her three current children and of the friends and family who were there with her as well as general playtime with her children now. Shortly after, a child enters the toilets and takes her hand. They leave together. The music returns to normal volume.

FIONA, JESS, LOUISE

Fiona, Jess, and Louise enter the toilets and approach the mirrors to apply makeup. Their “Bad Memory” footage is projected. - We see the girls struggle with their personal insecurities. Jess is concerned about her weight. Fiona is concerned about her confidence with boys. Louise is concerned about her appearance. Amy is concerned about being accepted for her sexuality. Whilst the girls apply make-up they are talking about the other girls in the club who are judging them because they don’t fit in. They meet Amy who comes out of one of the cubicles and introduces herself as gay. She tells the girls that she is uncomfortable being in a straight club because she doesn't feel like she fits in. Their “Good memory” footage is played after they meet Amy. We see the close friendship that Fiona, Louise, and Jess have; how they comfort one another about their insecurities when they are down about them. We see Amy’s friends and family accept her for who she is. Meanwhile the girls bond over their common dis-placement by chatting and through physical interaction (hugs, kisses, high fives etc.). Slowly we realise the make up they girls have been applying has taken the form of love hearts on their faces using lip sticks. After a short while the girls decide to go for pizza and they invite Amy along.

LISA

Lisa’s face appears on the projected images around the toilet. On her cheek an upside down heart has been painted on. It looks like a tear. We start to hear a lady crying which seems to be coming from inside one of the cubicles. Her ‘Bad Memory’ footage is displayed - We see her big and empty apartment. We see her struggle to feel complete when she doesn't have the children or boyfriend that she wants. We see how her success has made her feel hollow inside. On the projected image of Lisa’s face we see that she is being interviewed. She passionately talks about her success and her love for her job. She speaks about her best friend and how important that friend is to her – "you don’t make vows of ‘forever and ever’ with unconditional love, you just don't have to make that declaration". The interviewer asks her if she is happy to which she replies: “No, I want to have children”. When she starts to talk about children, the crying turns into a child’s crying. She stops talking and stares at the camera. She cries a tear. At the same time her “Good Memory” footage is projected - We see a lot of what she is talking about, her exciting younger days travelling and having fun with her best friend and her success and spending it. At the same time the music is intensified as the entrance door is swung open, and the crying get louder until Lisa says “Come on, let’s go home”. The crying stops and the music cuts, the projectors go black, and the lights are cut. But the ticking is still heard.

The lights come back up to the brightness they were at the beginning and the “Happy Memory” video montage is projected again. The audience are free to leave.

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“We go through this really amazing experience called life and we are trying to understand it and understand why the hell we are here...I think we all experience that”(Blunt).